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| i'm still trying to figure out how it's possible that in just one more
quarter i will be done at uci. that i will go to this ceremony
thing, and get this piece of paper that says i've learned
something. in fact, that i've put four years of my life into learning 'something', enough of it that i've earned something--a degree.
i don't think the term 'degree' really connotes my feelings
regarding what i've just done w/ the past four years of my life.
yes, i feel like i'm walking away with a fairly solid knowledge base of
criminology, law and society & psychology and social behavior, but
c'mon, if i say something like, 'did you know that the government
actually monitors the narcotics industry, not to eliminate it,
but actually to make sure that it flourishes, because they depend on it
as a source of revenue; it is a contradiction inherent in our
structural system of capital accumulation and state legitimacy?'
you'd prolly look at me with crazy eyes and think, 'whatever, her talk
is all bull'.
i guess this all points to this fear i have, that i've spent all this
time, learning all this stuff about the world, and that when i express
my opinions/views/ etc. people won't take me seriously or believe that
i actually know anything.
getting older. going out into 'the real world'. growing up. it's a process.
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| so i just received phone calls in the past two days from three of my favorite gals: Mel, Mia and Stef!!
i dont know if you guys read xanga, but no biggie, i just wanted to
write how much I <3 these girls! they always brighten my day with
their funny anecdotes!
i miss you all!
xoxo
Lu
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| oh my goodness.....sooooooo stressed.....it's definitely middle of
winter quarter...the exact middle of the last year of my undergraduate
career.....i haven't felt this stressed in an uber long time. for
the people that have to put up with my craziness (and you know who you
are *alieh, cough cough*)...thank you!
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| Is it possible to quit two long-standing vices in the same night?
I suppose only time will tell...
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| Random thoughts @ 3:01 in the morning...
- lauryn got some deep insights from the side of a disposable
starbucks coffee cup: what if we were all the same? agreed on the same
political issue, liked the same music, art, etc? Sounds boring
right? Embrace diversity. that was on the side of her
coffee cup. and it was freakin' fantastic.
- don't you hate it when you're sitting in class and feel like the
professor is just repeating him/herself over and over again? or
when the professor asks a question and prefaces it with, 'this is a
really difficult question...' and you think you know the answer, but
you don't answer it, then the professor says the answer and you're
thinking, 'damn, that was my answer?' yah...that happens a lot.
- i think i dated a psychopath. seriously. did you
know, a psychopath is not necessarily criminal, they don't even
technically have a mental disorder, they are just considered
"unique"? well yes, according to textbook information, i have
officially dated a psychopath. and they only comprise 3% of the total
population. wonderful for my track record.
- i'm taking a class on stress. kind of ironic, since
the class itself stresses me out. seriously, school plus my
responsibilities with the rest of my hall plus planning for my future
is stressful i tell you. but still, i love life, these are the
best days of our lives. oh, and i'm learning in my adult
development class about 'emerging adulthood' a mostly western
phenomenon, this period in life for people btwn the ages of 18-25 where
we are old enough to be independent and free of other adult
responsibilities, and therefore are in a process of discovering life
(hence, my decision to try and see another part of the world.)
- now i have too many thoughts running through my head that i can't
think of them in order to be able to write them down, so i suppose i'll
be ending this entry early...goodnight!
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